Good news and bad.
The bad is a reiteration, so it's not really news. Kate will have to have chemo as they found cells in her lymph system which means they broke away from the original site. Again, they not metastatic, so right now they pose no immediate threat, but without the chemo to kill 'em, they could either metastasize or lodge somewhere and grow as a breast cancer tumor at that location.
I've done a bit of research, and in places they're trying cold helmets just prior and for a couple hours after being given chemo to help patients keep their hair. It's not written in stone that one will lose their hair, but I think it better to prepare for the eventuality and be surprised if it doesn't happen.
Personally, I don't think it will be a major shock if Kate loses the hair on her head, but the eyebrows and eyelashes might take a little getting used to. However, as long as I can keep seeing her big blue eyes, I'm a happy man.
Here's the good news:
Kate's going to have another lumpectomy. There were 2 discrete spots of cancer remaining after her first surgery, which we were certain meant a mastectomy. We were quite prepared for that when we met with her surgeon last Wednesday, but during that conversation she introduced the possibility of another lumpectomy. She said she had to check the slides to see if she thought she could do it.
Check the slides?!?! You mean you haven't looked yet. For us, we want everything to happen yesterday. Kate can't get to treatment soon enough. So after waiting a couple days (we expected a call the following day, but it didn't come 'til Friday afternoon) we got the word that her surgeon, Dr. Gadd, was confident she could get the remaining little bits.
If Kate were to have a mastectomy, again she would have to have reconstructive surgery right away or she wouldn't be able to have it at all because she's so slim and petite. And with the reconstruction, there's a risk that the radiation therapy could damage the implant and cause complications.
On a more personal note, this thing definitely makes one moodier. Some days I'm just waiting for someone to step out of line, because I know this is not their fault, no one is too blame really, but I'm loaded for bear and want an excuse to unload. That's tempering in the past week or so, but still a pretty typical response I guess. My patience is a lot thinner and I'm willing to be a bit snippy if someone deserves it. I'm taking a bit of a holiday from being the reasonable guy.
I also feel bad and guilty that sometimes I get tired of thinking about Kate's cancer. I resent the amount of attention Kate's cancer gets.
Don't get me wrong, I don't resent Kate getting attention, I resent Kate's cancer getting attention. I'm always happy to do for Kate, to be there at every turn, to carry the load but there are the occasional time when I think, "You know, give it a rest. Let's go live while there's some non-Kate's cancer time."
It's a little hard to go do stuff that moves us forward. It's a bit all consuming and there's a tendency to want to put everything on hold until the end of the treatments. We have to keep reminding ourselves that s#$t happens and we have to make the most of our time when we can.
I'm also super vigilant about trying to keep Kate from feeling sorry for herself or getting in too much of a funk. Maybe a little over protective of this. It's such a fine balance trying to be supportive and encouraging her to have her emotions, and making sure she doesn't wallow in self-pity (not that she's even coming close to that, but knowing how easy it could be for me to feel sorry for myself, I project).
Fortunately, our communication is great so all these things are out in the open where we can face them together as always.
I'm also super vigilant about trying to keep Kate from feeling sorry for herself or getting in too much of a funk. Maybe a little over protective of this. It's such a fine balance trying to be supportive and encouraging her to have her emotions, and making sure she doesn't wallow in self-pity (not that she's even coming close to that, but knowing how easy it could be for me to feel sorry for myself, I project).
Fortunately, our communication is great so all these things are out in the open where we can face them together as always.
Cheers!